I'm frustrated..

Dear God..

I'm frustrated and angry.. at life..

It's hard to wrap my head around it.. we have no direction.. no ultimate goal right now.. nothing.. we are completely lost..

I take that back. We do have a goal: Marriage.

But how to get there is very unclear to me now.

We had a direction, we had someplace to go.. we had a light at the end of our tunnel. Why did you take that away?

I know that they said whenever You close a door, You open a window somewhere. Lord, we are still looking for that window.

I don't want to sound selfish. I don't want to sound like I don't have faith in You, because I do. It's just that I feel that I always have to test that faith and to really stretch myself thin in truly believing You have my best interest at heart. I do try so hard to surrender it all to you..

But when everything starts going wrong all the time, it's hard to truly believe that You are there. Even though.. deep down inside, I know You are always there.

Bear with me.. carry my cross.. take the anxiety away. Please.

Do You really think I can handle this??