A "thanks" is due.

Dear God,

I guess I should thank you. I mean, I thought I was about to hit the rock bottom again. I felt like i was falling deeper into that hole that took me so long to get out of last time. I felt like i could see the light fading around me. Literally. I never felt this before. I never knew what it felt to fall into the depression. I always just found myself knee-deep in it. And by then, it was usually too late and too long of a journey to get back to normal.

But I guess You know what to do. And You guided me out of that imcreasing darkness and back into the light.

It was the drive home from work yesterday that started it. It made me think of where exactly i'm going with this. I knew this wasn't what I wanted. I had to make that conscious effort, and it was starting to work.. but you know me.. i'm never really postiive about myself and about my own progress...

But it was something about the class last night. Having that parent meeting and telling all the parents that You always have time for us.. You always make time to help us and bless us.. so the parents and their children should be able to at least give one hour to You. And to see the parents and to see the children understand what I was trying to say. The empowerment and the good feelings I felt trying to promote Your good works and everything.

I don't know what it was about last nights class that completely snapped me out of the funk that I've been in. But it worked and I'm fine. I know that there are things I will have a hard time accepting, but I do know.. when i'm not in my funk.. that I have a great support system around me.. family that loves me.. and a great boyfriend that loves me for everything that I am.. and everything I was.. and everything i will be.

I've opened my eyes and I know what I have and I know what I have is great and that what I have will soon be what I've wanted... I know that I'm working towards it and I know that he is working towards it.

God, you know that Justyn and I made that promise to each other that we'll take this dream of marriage more serious and I believe that we are... now.. I truly believe that we are taking it seriously.. and that things will change.

I just continue to ask You to guide me and bless me with more patience... because You know.. as well as I do.. that I need all the patience in the world..