There's always something..

Dear God,

There is always something to pray about. There is always something to think about. As long as there are thoughts in a person's head, then there is always something to pray about.

Prayer is not about asking You for something all the time. I mean.. why am I telling You this?? You should know. You're God.

Anyway, I have several things on my mind.

They aren't really requests, just.. well.. things on my mind. I would like Your input.

The first one is my CCD class. They started off so good, and I have some really great kids, but I also have some really disrespectful students. I hate to lose my patience with the class. I hate to be angry during a class period. It's not fiar to the good kids. It's not fair to take away from the good kid's time to learn about You because I am busy disciplining the bad kids. What am I supposed to do? I want to give these kids the best I can with the time I am allowed with them. I don't want them to walk away from the class and not know how important You really are to them. Thank you for opening their eyes and their hearts to what I have to say. And thank You for using me as an insturment to show these kids as much as I can about our Faith. I just don't know what to do about the bad kids..

I also have a disabled student. He's got a mental disability and I know it's hindering him from really grasping all the concepts that I am trying to teach him at the grade level he "should" be.. when it's pretty obvious that due to his disability he shoudln't be in this class. We need a special program for the children with the disabilities, but I know that the diocese might not be able to afford such a program. I know that it's not his fault. His disability is the cross he has to bear and I would hate to hold him back because of it. What do I do there?

There is so much more that I can talk to you about right now, but I think I'll save one for a moment when I am alone, just sitting and thinking and praying in the privacy of my own mind and heart. I also think that this blog entry might be a tad too long now and I just want to rest.

Thank you for all the blessings so far this week. Thank you for the good news that I was told today and please look after her that she will have a healthy term and that all will work out in the end.

This is just me..

Dear God,

This is it. This is my life. You of all people should know. This is what I do, this is how I spend my time. I should be out there doing something, meeting people.. something.

Nope. I'm here.

Is this really what You have planned for me? Is this reallly what You want me to do?

Why?

Why, God? Why?

I feel like I"m made for so much more... don't You think? Dont You think that there is more to my life than this? Shouldn't there be more to my life than this?

I know that I have to trust You, but sometimes I get so bored with life. Sometimes.. well.. most of the time.. ok.. ALL the time.. I never know what is going on. I suppose I never will. You wouldn't be who You are if you let me know all that is going one, right? I guess it's part of Your job description, as is trusting You is part of my job description..

Sometimes I feel like You leave me alone. Sometimes I feel like You have forgotten me. I know that is not the case at all.. but sometimes I feel like You can't hear me. Or maybe You can hear me.. You just refuse to listen to me.

I know that isn't the case.

If this is the extent of my life.. then so be it.. but if it isn't.. then please.. show me more..

If I don't want to..

Dear God,

I don't really want to be here right now. I don't know. Call me lazy, call me tired, call me anything. I just don't want to be here right now.

I want to be in bed. I want to be at the mall. I want to be anywhere else but here.

I know that I need to be here. This is my job. This is a job You have graciously blessed me with. I'm just too lazy to be here right now.

As a matter of fact, I think I'd rather be a Disneyland right now.

Is that bad?

I hope that today's class goes well today. I think that this class is blessed. They are good kids.

Anything else..

Dear God..

I just don't know anymore. You see us trying, yet there are so many things that are pointing against us. Are You trying to keep us apart, or are You trying to show us how to fight and to perservere?

I just don't know what to do anymore. I'm so confused and I'm so in love and I don't know what the next step is to take.

Just nudge me, just give me a hint. Just give me some sort of direction.

Give it to US.

We need it.