Seems like it's been awhile...

Dear God,

Sorry for the delay in entries.. Life has just gotten so hard to keep up with.. and a lot of the things I go through.. I didn't think it needed to be blogged about.. but I have been meaning to do some blogging on here.. I just didn't find the drive and ambition to..

God, I just wish You found a way to make my parents.. notably.. my mother.. more understanding to my life. I just feel like I can never do anything right in her eyes. Don't You think that I'm 25 years old.. and that I should have at least a little more freedom than I already do?

I would love to know what it feels like to be able to just go out without question. Or for me to do something and for them to just be happy and accept what I've done.

Constant criticism and words under their breath.. it really gets to me.. really really gets to me.. so badly that I start to cry everytime it happens..

I used to be able to handle it.. You know I did.. now.. it seems like i've broken down so much.. that it doesn't take very much to drive me to tears anymore.. and it's gotten so bad that i hardly do anything to avoid any sort of conflict.. but then.. i know i'm missing so much..

God, it's very frustrating.. and it's making me feel very miserable just tinking about it.. but You need to really know how bad it makes me feel.. I love my parents to death.. but it makes me feel so terrible to think the way I do and to feel the way I do towards them because they really did a lot for me.. and I hate that they have to treat me like this..

I beg you, God.. please show me some mercy.. I mean.. I do good for You right? I know I'm not perfect.. and I'm not asking for a perfect life.. but.. I just want to be a little less miserable.. I mean.. I tried talking to her.. I did.. and you saw it all.. I know You did.. but it's just so hard..

It's getting too hard to handle.. and You always said to cast our burdens upon You.. and that's what I'm trying to do.. really.. I trust in You and that You will make things easier.. but it's so hard..

Please.. please.. help me..