Desperation!!!

Dear God,

Please please please please please please please!!!!

No no no no no no no no no no no no no no!

Make this go away.. please please please please please!!!

Just make this go away.. make it go away.. make it go away.. make it go away.. make it all go away.. please!!!

I beg of you.. we promise.. we promise we won't let this happen again.. please.. we totally fully promise and we'll make good this time.. we swear.. on everything.. we promise!!!

Please.. just let this go away.. please.. let it all go away.. please please please!!!

Please.. now is not the time!

Dear God..

I know I come to You for a lot of things.. but I can't help it.. that's what makes me human.

Please God.. please let my monthly come tomorrow.. I am tired of waiting and I really dont' want to take a pregnancy test. God, You know as well as I do.. and as Justyn does.. that this is the last thing we need right now.. We both have a lot of things going for us.. and for this to happen.. it's not the right time, God!

We promise to wait til we get married.. and I swear to You and to everything You stand for.. that I will be strong.. and he will be strong..

WE don't need this right now.. please let this happen to us when we are ready.. when we can celebrate and not dread a new arrival..

Please Lord, show us some mercy..

I'm late!

Dear God,

Yes.. I know I'm late.. please give me my monthly soon..

But.. not today!!!

I know I'm picky.. but i'm wearing a really cute dress today..

Thanks!

One day at a time..

Dear God,

Thanks for everything you have been blessing Justyn and I with lately.

I truly believe that this can be it, God. We are giving it our all and I've never felt more love from anyone... as well as never have given so much love to someone.

Continue to help guide us.

Help me figure out what I can do about my home life. Please allow me to have some peace in this. I'm placing this burden in Your hands, Lord. I'm offering it up to You so that You can guide me in the direction You see fit.

So is this how it ends?

Dear God,

So.. this is how it's going to end?

Me.. getting hurt.. beyond repair.. and then.. having that drive a stake into our relationship.. already bruised and barely fixed.. until.. we just can't fight anymore.. and then.. that's it?

I don't want that, God. I want us to have that happy ending. That's what we were supposed to have.. we were supposed to overcome all the obstacles that have been thrown at us.. all the near break-ups.. and all the people that have told us to let it go.. we were supposed to just survive all of that..

We were supposed to that Janet Jackson song.. "Love would never do without you.."

Our friends think we're opposites
Falling in and out of love
They all said we'd never last
Still we manage to stay together
There's no easy explanation for it
But whenever there's a problem
We always work it out somehow
Work it out somehow

They said it wouldn't last
We had to prove them wrong
'cause I've learned in the past
That love will never do without you

Other guys have tried before
To replace you as my lover
Never did I have a doubt
Boy it's you I can't do without
I feel better when I have you near me
'cause no other love around
Has quite the same ooh ooh
Like you do do do do babe

And then.. remember.. we're supposed to be that Shania Twain song.. "You're still the one.."

Even though I hate Shania Twain.. that was supposed to be the song I wanted to play at our wedding..

Looks like we made it
Look how far we've come my baby
We mighta took the long way
We knew we'd get there someday

They said, "I bet they'll never make it"
But just look at us holding on
We're still together still going strong

(You're still the one)
You're still the one I run to
The one that I belong to
You're the one I want for life
(You're still the one)
You're still the one that I love
The only one I dream of
You're still the one I kiss good night

Ain't nothin' better
We beat the odds together
I'm glad we didn't listen
Look at what we would be missin'

I'm so glad we made it
Look how far we've come my baby

But why is it that we have to go through this again? Why is this impending doom feeling coming over him? I mean.. it will be hard.. if he doesn't go, God.. it's going to hurt so so so so so so so so much.. because I really need him there.. I really do.. and I know that it isn't his fault.. and I know he's going to try.. I do.. but i won't help with the pain..

I don't want it to get in the middle of us.. not anymore.. not again.. not anymore.. please, God..

Please find a way to let him come with me.. and if he can't.. please God.. help me find a way to get over this..

It's all in Your hands.. and that's all I can do.. but I want to be those songs.. God.. I want him and I to be those songs!